Peace Out, 2016

    I didn’t feel like an adult until 2016, and not because I accidentally became a mother this year. 2016 required sheer obedience. Often waking up and driving to my classroom took a surrender of my will. I had to trust more than ever. He called me to speak up at great cost. I lost relationships. I gained thirty pounds from stress. I financially supported my family for over a year when Judge has been out of work and in his Masters program. I threw up for two months and lost control of my body. Then, I lost 30 pounds. I was accused of nasty things. Sometimes I believed the accusations. I went to therapy this summer to remember truth. I laid in my big white bed a lot & took even more baths. I called a father of the faith once from an empty field and told him I was ready to quit. He drove to that very spot and prayed for me and reminded me why I couldn’t stop. I also saw young, passionate mentors change lives. I saw many young adult learn the power of their voice & the joyful escape that comes from reading a book. I fell deeply in love with my husband when I needed him the most. He was so sensitive to my heart that I’m daily astounded at how much he can discern without me speaking a word. I learned to love our tiny hobbit hole. I threw away everything they didn’t fit & we learned to live on 2,500$ a month. I grew much closer to my sisters. I got into my Specialist program. Today, on January 1st, after a night of prayer, Judge got a job he interviewed for back in July that will allow me to go on my unpaid maternity leave in #2017. One piece of advice from a mentor reverberates in my head, “Don’t be afraid to trust Him.” He’ll call you to hard places, your obedience to Him may mean complete UNCOMFORTABLE dependence, but He is intentional & “never failing.” Happy New Year, everyone. #adulting

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