This new job means I am no longer able to balance my Athens and Atlanta life. It means no time with Judge, or my dog, or my church and certainly no relaxing moments in my mountain house.
I’ve given up everything… family, friends, community, El Azteca, worship and thunderstorms in my house for a job.
I’ve sat on this floor with no lunch break since 9 am this morning. It’s 11:30PM at night and I still have an hour drive home.
Judge texted me today saying it was raining hard in Athens and that ‘storms make me miss you.’ He always says that this song, storm warning, is the perfect song for me.
Ain’t it funny how it feels
When you’re burning your wheels
Somewhere between goin’ and gone
You get so lost that you can’t turn it off
You give in and you just turn it on
My house in the Athens was built over a hundred years ago and it has a tin roof. My bed is flanked by windows looking out over my amazing backyard and woods. It is, in all ways, the perfect place to be when it rains. In fact, when it does storm in Athens, I would run back to my house just to be there. Now I can’t run back so easy. Actually, I’m contemplating sleeping under my desk tonight because the two hours to drive back home and back won’t be worth it.
Tonight, when I got word from Judge a huge storm was coming I went into an attorney’s office and watched the dark clouds make their way from Athens to attack Atlanta. This was a very cool thing to watch in a skyscraper. I strained my eyes so hard up 85 hoping to see some faint sign of that life.
Maybe this is God’s crazy plan to never make me doubt that I was actually suppose to chase down this corporate life, in some obscure moment sitting in the desert of Afghanitan. maybe.
Next time I make a HUGE life decisions, thinking there are no consequence could someone shake me really hard and say “Katie, you can’t have it all. You making this step and taking this path means you give that other path up. You don’t get to have it all. This life will mean the end of your beautifully organic, real and wholesome life in your small college town. You LOVE the people you have there. Why are you leaving Athens?”
I never ever process things before they happen. I really do take things a day and even a moment at a time. I don’t think about packing until two hours before I get on a plane, and now I am realizing the consequence of the life choice I made two months after I made it.
I wish I had a storm-warning, or some sort of radar system…