I realized, in a conference the Lord tricked me into going to on Saturday, that I hate rest. I run from it, I cringe at the thought of it, I literally have the hardest time sitting still. Wiggle, wiggle. From one person to the next, anything to get out. Sometimes I get myself into a real pickle though, because my thoughts become to heavy. I’ll be with Judge trying to hang out and I’m just sitting quiet thinking, thinking so heavy.
Jesus, Thank you for who you are. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your plan. I am choosing to trust you, even though I don’t feel like it. Even though the sterile world of high rises sounds terrfying and scary and toltally new.
God, hey in this empty room. I am sorry, I know this is what I need. To be here with you, but it just seems so worthlesss. At the same time I know that everything in lief flows from this. From this moment here, and he created a day and he called it today just to have me rest. Strive to enter, strive to enter.
“ Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. For we also have had the good news proclaimed to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because they did not share the faith of those who obeyed. 3Now we who have believed enter that rest,.. And yet his works have been finished since the creation of the world. 4 For somewhere he has spoken about the seventh day in these words: “On the seventh day God rested from all his works.” 6 Therefore since it still remains for some to enter that rest, and since those who formerly had the good news proclaimed to them did not go in because of their disobedience, 7God again set a certain day, calling it “Today.”
The Lord rested after he created, and if there is one thing I’ve learned from this five months of nothing to do, is that even if you have all the free time in the world, that you still can avoid spiritual rest. For me, rest is very linked to creating, writing… so, I can tell from the scarcity of my writing that I’ve done very little.
God, you do have a plan for my life… you do know what your up to. You know why i am not going to Ocean Grove and you know if Judge is going to go as well. You know all, you are sovereign. I am damned up,wash away my walls. My doubt.
Give me belief to enter into your rest!!!