I’m trying very hard to sit down and describe the rollercoaster that I experienced this May. It’s true that if you delight yourself in the Lord or if you seek ye first the kingdom – all these things will be added onto you. The Lord finally placed us on solid ground after the “pigpens” and just like a sudden downpour he brought back to our lives the people we had tried so desperately to be ministering to this semester but either were too busy for or forgot about. Finals ended and it was like BAM and the power of his spirit brought people back to us to love on – all stemming from true intimacy with him again.
The fog faded one night when both Jessica and I were so sick of studying and being in this rut of condemnation and paralysis we stopped studying, got on a yellow bird golf cart and drove. We just got out. We left the confinement and the schedules and the laying around with no real passions and we got on a golf cart and drove and drove and drove.
He had told me all semester he was trying to draw me out, but I didn’t really know what the meant. I was so restless. One day I made Jessica drive me all the way to Jefferson, Georgia just so that I could get OUT – but I didn’t feel out of anything. My mind was fogged, my thoughts were condemning and my spiritual eyes were blind. I was stuck. So stuck in all sorts of things – but more than anything it felt like a spirit of tiredness and laziness and sluggishness. The enemy had made us content to be shut-in. We would literally be 100% satisfied to lie in bed for hours and just wallow to one another. We didn’t want anyone else. We didn’t want to be serving. We were content to be locked into 208 Reed Hall forever. There was no power in our prayers. They felt that they bounced off the walls and back again. It didn’t feel like overt spiritual oppression – that was last semester! Somehow we had become numb. Completely numb.
That day on the Yellow Bird Gulf Cart we were drawn out. We had reached the end of our rope. So we forgot about our final. We didn’t care if we failed. We got out from under the covers and forced ourselves out of the world. The crazy thing was the world was still beautifully spinning. Nature was in a crescendo – and we remembered that the world was not spinning around US. We left and remembered the glory of the Lord and the freedom found in worship – worship that exists in the wonder of just being amongst what he has made for us on a golf cart. We never stopped driving.
Jessica started praying scary prayers. It shook my flesh. She started yelling at the enemy and declaring that we were OUT and he couldn’t keep up locked up anymore. Jessica prayers rocked me. My flesh was burning and I felt things inside of me fighting not to die – I was uncomfortable but the Spirit of God allowed me to murder an “amen” It did feel so good to be out, enjoying the world again! Free of responsibilities or pressure or Athens.
We were just being. We were enjoying. We were interacting. We were pure children again and it was the Father’s hand that took us to these “fields of wildflowers”
We drove till we were legitimately afraid that the power would die. Then we stood on the side of the road and we talked to the cows. We went up to them and chit-chatted with the calves. We remembered the awe and wonder of simple life-living. We breathed in the air and looked at the sky. We laughed and we held on tightly to the goodness of his spirit which forced us to “AMEN” to the spirit’s prayers instead of clamming up.
I can’t explain this the right way, but without his grace and breakthrough and tender call I feel we could have been imprisoned forever, living in boredom and stagnancy. He broke through and romanced us with Elberton, GA and the cows and the river.
We breathed in life again.
Then the rains begin. All the people that we had forgotten or couldn’t reach or were literally lost. He brought them back to us. He knew we were ready to love again.
Then the May mission trip of riding the crazy wave of His power, love and might began, that I am not sure I am even ready to recount. I am just so thankful He drew us out! It is by His grace that we get to be a part of His work.